Preparing Yourself
It is normal to feel very nervous about your child’s operation. Make sure you discuss all your questions, fears and concerns with your child’s doctor so you feel more in control. Remember… children (even infants) can sense your concern and this may make your child more anxious.
Preparing Your Child
Children’s feelings will be influenced by their experiences with health care and by how they have been prepared. For these reasons, it is important to help children learn about what to expect in a way that is appropriate for their age.
How to prepare your infant for surgery:
It is important to keep your baby’s routine the same before the day of surgery.
Make sure you, your baby, and your family are well rested.
Comfort items such as a pacifier, blanket and familiar toys or stuffed animals will also be important to your child the day of surgery and during the hospital stay.
Bring your baby’s favorite security item and perhaps some soothing music to the hospital. This will help create a more familiar environment for your baby. You may make a tape of your voice reading or singing for the nursing staff to play when you are not there.
Let the nursing staff know what your baby’s usual schedule is, including sleep patterns and feeding habits.
Older babies (about 8 months and up) are very sensitive to strangers and separations from familiar people. Tell the pre-surgical staff how you expect your child will react to separating from you. They can best plan to help ease this experience for you and your child.
Make plans for at least one parent to be with your baby as much as possible so that he/she will have familiar touch, voice, and smile.
The most important part about preparing your infant for surgery is for you to try to remain calm. Your baby will sense if you are frightened or stressed. Be well informed about what to expect on the day of surgery and ask questions to alleviate any fears you might have. Relaxed, nonverbal communication, such as voice, facial expressions, gestures, and body language can give positive assurance to your baby.
Be patient with your baby. It is normal for him/her to cry and be fussy during this stressful time. He/she may be very clingy and become hard to comfort and console. Give a lot of love and let your baby know that you will be nearby.
Helping your toddler get ready:
Use simple language to explain that the doctors have decided that a part of the body needs to be fixed.
Talk to your child what they will see, hear, smell and feel while at the hospital. You can get this information from your child’s doctor, nurse or child life specialist.
Use a doll or stuffed animal to show your child which part of the body will be fixed. This is better than just telling him/her what will happen. If your child will have a bandage or special equipment (such as an IV) when they wake up, put that on the doll, if possible.
Tell your child that he/she will not have any breakfast the day you go to the hospital. Expect your child to be upset or frustrated when he/she wants to drink or eat and cannot. Keep drinks and food out of sight and distract with toys.
Stay with your child during the hospitalization. Your touch and voice will comfort him/her more than anything else. Let the nurses know about your child’s usual schedule and his/her likes and dislikes.
Be patient with your child. It is normal for toddlers to cry and be fussy at this stressful time. Your child may be very clingy and become hard to comfort. It is not unusual for your child to have temper tantrums or regress, temporarily losing newly learned skills (like toilet training).
Encourage your child to bring a favorite stuffed animal, blanket, or other security item from home. This can accompany your child to surgery.
Play with toy doctor sets and read stories about the hospital. Listen or watch for any misunderstandings or concerns your child might have. Make this a fun time for you and your child.
Remember, too, to take care of yourself. Simplify your life during this time and do not be afraid to ask for help from family and friends. Remaining positive and calm can help reduce your toddler’s anxiety.
How do I prepare my preschool child for surgery?
Learn as much as you can about your child’s surgery. Children can tell when their parents are nervous. The more you know, the better you will feel and the more you can help explain things to your child.
It is very important to be honest with your child about having an operation. Many parents worry about upsetting their child by being truthful. However, keep in mind that your child will also be upset once they discover what is going on. It is best to be honest so your child learns to trust you.
One of the major fears preschoolers have is fear of the unknown. Your child should be prepared 3-5 days before the date of surgery and perhaps even visit the hospital for a tour. Touring the hospital before surgery can help your child see the sights, sounds, and events he/she will experience the day of surgery. It can help your child learn about the hospital, and gives him/her time to talk about concerns and questions he/she may have. Contact the hospital’s child life department for this service.
Use simple language to explain that the doctors have decided that a part of the body is sick or hurt and needs to be fixed. It is common for this age group to believe that the operation is a punishment for something he/she did wrong (?I hit my sister and now I have to have my tonsils taken out.?) or that needles are given to kids who are “bad.” Reassure your child this is not his/her fault and that many children need operations to help their bodies.
Tell your child what they will see, hear, smell and feel while at the hospital. You can get this information from your child’s doctor, nurse or Child Life Specialist.
Read stories about going to the hospital. Allow your child to play with pretend medical equipment. Dramatic play is a big part of a preschooler’s life. Using pictures, stuffed animals, or toy doctor kits to help your child understand. This is better than simply telling him/her what will happen. Show your child on a doll or stuffed animal which part of the body will be fixed. If your child will have a bandage or special equipment (such as an IV) when they wake up talk about that in advance and demonstrate on the doll, if possible. Listen or watch for any misunderstandings or concerns your child might have. Make this a fun time for you and your child.
Explain to your child that on the morning of the operation, it will be very important for their stomach (tummy) to be empty (have no food or drink in it). He/she will not have any breakfast on the morning of surgery. Someone will call you the day before and will tell you the exact time to stop giving your child food and drink.
Tell your child about the special doctor (anesthesiologist) that will give them some sleepy medicine so that they will not feel anything during surgery. Avoid phrases like ?be asleep? or ?be put to sleep.? Your child may think he/she will wake up during the operation or may think of the family pet that was put to sleep. Instead tell your child that it is a special kind of sleep, different than how you sleep at night and that they will wake up when the operation is all over.
Reassure your child that you will be with him or her in the hospital (if this is true).
Encourage your child to bring a favorite stuffed animal, blanket, or other security item from home. This can accompany your child to surgery.
Be patient with your child. It is normal for him/her to require more attention. Your child may have temper tantrums or be uncooperative. It is not unusual for your child to return to bedwetting or thumb-sucking. The regressive behavior will usually improve after the stress of the procedure has passed.
Remember, too, to take care of yourself. Simplify your life during this time and do not be afraid to ask for help from family and friends. Remaining positive and calm can help reduce your preschooler’s anxiety.
Helping your school-age child get ready:
The basic facts (who, what, where, when, why) are important to share. Use simple, nonthreatening language to explain that the doctors have decided that a part of the body needs to be fixed and why. Avoid words like ?cut you open? and instead tell your child the doctor knows how to ?fix the problem.?
Tell your child what they will see, hear, smell and feel while at the hospital. You can get this information from your child’s doctor, nurse or Child Life Specialist. Sometimes too much information is frightening, so be careful about sharing all the details.
Have your child explain back to you what is going to happen in the hospital. School-aged children sometimes will listen carefully, but not understand all that was said. This can help you to learn whether or not your child has a clear understanding of what lies ahead.
If your child will have a bandage or special equipment (such as an IV) when they wake up talk about that in advance so there are no surprises.
Explain to your child that on the morning of the operation, it will be very important for their stomach to be empty. He/she will not have any breakfast on the morning of surgery. Someone from the hospital will call you the day before and will tell you the exact time to stop giving your child food and drink.
Tell your child about the doctor called an anesthesiologist that will give them some special sleepy medicine so that they will not feel anything during surgery. Tell them it is a special kind of sleep (not like a nighttime sleep). They will not feel anything during the operation and will wake up when the operation is over.
Explain that if anything is hurting after the operation, a doctor or nurse can give him/her medicine to help.
Reassure your child that you will be with him or her in the hospital (if this is true).
Encourage your child to bring a favorite stuffed animal or other security item from home. This can accompany your child to surgery.
Give as many choices as possible to increase your child’s sense of control.
As you talk about surgery listen or watch for any misunderstandings or concerns your child might have.
Let your child know that it is acceptable to be afraid and to cry. Encourage him/her to ask questions of the physicians and nurses.
When your child is stressed, he/she may start regressing and/or displaying new fears, such as being afraid of the dark. Give many compliments and hugs.
Keep in mind that not only the words you use but your own feelings and body language (such as your tone of voice and facial expressions) can help your child feel more confident about surgery. If you appear fearful and doubtful about the operation, so will your child. As a parent, you play a key role in creating a positive hospital experience for your child!
Helping your teenager get ready:
It is usually best if teens are included in the talks with the medical team. He/she also should be involved in the decisions being made.
Teens need to know what part of the body will be operated on, what to expect following surgery and what the long-term benefits of surgery will be. Most teens want to know what they will feel and what the recovery process will be like.
Teenagers are often reluctant to admit that they do not understand explanations. Parents and healthcare professionals may need to explain treatment in several different ways, without making the teen feel uncomfortable.
Encourage your teen to pick out and bring a few items from home, such as books, hand-held video games, a CD/tape player and comfortable clothes. Teens are often less self-conscious walking around the hospital or hanging out in bed wearing his/her own clothes or pajamas.
Ask friends from school to send cards or call during recovery.
Before and during hospitalization, your teen may go through frequent mood swings. This may be one way your teen shows his/her nervous feelings. It is important to be patient and understanding. Your teen can become withdrawn and not want to talk or answer questions. There are times when he/she may need to alone.
Let your teen know that it is acceptable to be afraid and to cry. He/she might need to know you have the same worries they do. Reassure them of your support.
Be truthful when answering questions. Teenagers may become angry if they think people are keeping secrets from them. He/she needs to understand what is wrong with his/her body. How the information is given is often as important as what information is given.
Privacy is very important to your teenager. Teens are often as private about their thoughts and feelings as they are about their bodies. It is necessary to always respect their privacy.
